在美国，如何快速假装自己是有教养有文化的高冷人儿

经常被问到，汤唯和国际章你更喜欢谁呢？总是说，虽然后者更好看，但是前者更喜欢。原因？简单来说，就是前者（在不说话的时候）好像读过书一样。如果你想要成为男神女神，看起来有文化有教养肯定是第一步啦，所以下面就是美国人一般在社会交往中约定俗成的规则。如果照做，必定会萌萌哒。

如果有人在跟你讲话，不要摆弄你的手机，把它放在一边吧。

如果你在剧场或者在其他比较安静的公共场所，最好别打电话。

千万别在吃晚饭的时候假设你的朋友或者恋人不存在，开始放肆地发短信。记住，爱就是克制。

如果你在别人家。他们对你说：“啊，我有好多工作啊。”或者“好晚了，我有点困了”——其实，他们的意思是“你可以滚蛋了”。

嚼东西的时候把嘴闭上。没有都吞下去别开始说话。

如果有人让你经常搭便车，那么你应该帮他们付油费。

如果你跟五个人出去玩，千万不要只请其中的三个人去下一个活动（另外两个人会恨你的）。

不仅仅为漂亮姑娘开门——为所有人撑着门，方便他们过去。

电梯到了你的楼层，先让别人下去，别自己哧溜一下蹿下去。

尽管宪法允许你有一个自己的观点，并不代表不分场合地发表你自己的观点总是正确的。

走路的时候注意点周围。不要走在路上，突然停下来，也不要在人流拥挤的地方停下来看你的手机。你会挡住别人的！

人家话说到一半，别打断人家。

有些关于你自己的信息，其实没有人想知道。除非你在跟你的最好的朋友BFF谈心，要不然千万别提到那些关于你的健康的、婚姻的和其他床单儿上的事儿——特别是一些让人坐立不安的细节。

除非别人求你给一些“批评建议”，要不然不要给别人批评建议。当然啦，如果他们要毁了你的毕生之作，你还是直说吧。就算他们要求你给些建议，你要知道大家很多时候也并不知道他们自己的承受力（有多小）。比如说，如果有人问你他们今天看起来如何，你可以给出的答案的范围是：“太美了！” 或者“你试过穿那件红色上衣吗？” 他们一定不想听到你说“你看起来像一坨屎”。当你给别人提建议的时候，快快回忆一下这个人的所有特点，然后再给他们建议。

如果你想从别人的盘子里吃东西（是的，西餐一般都是各吃各的），那么一定要在之前问问这个盘子的主人。在你取食物的时候，别忘了用一只你没用过的叉子，或者你没有舔过的手。

对人尽量好一点，尽管你对他们很坏也没有什么报应。

如果在场还有听不懂你的方言或者语言的人，就说通用语言。（简单来说，如果有外国人在场，那么就说英语。）

别动不动就谈宗教或者政治——历史上，这曾经造成了很多人同归于尽。

当人们拒绝你的时候，他们的意思是“不”。别再缠着人家。

如果你被邀请去别人家作客，别忘记拿一个小礼物，这样总没有错。

如果你要介绍两个小伙伴，总把这个年轻的人介绍给这个老年人。比如我要把我的男友Ethan介绍给我的娘亲，那么就说“June（我娘亲的名字），I would like you to meet Ethan"。而不能是翻过来。

别接话茬——除非你们是好基友。

如果在超市里，你拿了某个东西，但是后来决定不要它了。放回原处。

如果有人给你他们的手机，让你看一张照片——不要！！！！我说的是——不！！！！要！！！——在任何情况下向左或者向右滑动你的手指。

假设所有给你提供服务的人（无论是在咖啡厅还是麦当劳还是书店还是H&M）都在过非常艰难的一天，然后总是说毕恭毕敬地说“谢谢”。

如果你发现有人做一件事情很困难（比如，一个妹子拿不动她的书，或者一个汉子无法停车），那么快去提出帮助她。

如果你想要“融入”，那么做所有人在做的事情，尽管他们在干的事儿可能很荒谬。如果你想要让自己“引人注目”，那么就做别人都不在做的事情，尽管你要干的事儿可能很荒谬。

如果别人没有问你要建议，千万别忙着给人建议。

如果你的饭先上来了，但是同桌的其他人还没有拿到他们的，别开始吃。

如果一个小伙伴请你去他的home趴，总是提出要帮他打扫整理后事...当然啦，如果是你弄脏的，你至少要自己打扫干净。

如果你去教堂，千万不要在教堂的那个盘子里找钱。比如你放进去十美金，然后从中找自己5美金。low爆了。

不要自吹自擂自己是有钱人：别提任何关于工资、钱、存款，或者投资的事儿。

除非这事儿和你直接相关（比如你是他娘亲或者他老板或者他未婚妻），否则别问别人的学术成绩、在哪里上的学等等背景问题。别当那个查户口的七大姑八大姨。

在绝大多数文化里，说话的时候应该看着对方的眼睛（或者眼镜）。

这里有英文版的

Keep away your phone if someone is talking to you.

Try not to talk on phone in theater or silent public places.

Please do not ignore your partner or friends and text during dinner or dates.

If you're over at someone else's place and they say, "I have a lot on at work tomorrow," or "It's getting late/I'm getting tired," it means it's time for you to leave.

Chew with your mouth closed. And don't start talking with a mouthful of food.

You should offer to pay someone for gas if they drive you a lot of places.

Don't make plans with other friends in front of friends who aren't invited.

Hold the door open for everyone.

Let people exit from the elevator first.

Just because you're entitled to have an opinion doesn't mean it's always appropriate to express it.

Watch where you're going when you're walking. Don't stop suddenly or stand in the middle of a busy sidewalk (e.g. to check your phone). You're in the way!

Don't cut someone off, wait till they finish what they're saying.

Don't "over share." Unless you're talking to a best friend or a shrink, don't give confessional details about your marital problems, your health, bad things you've done, or sexual conquests.

Don't criticize people who haven't asked you to do so, aside from in dire circumstances (e.g. someone is about to ruin an important project). Even if someone does ask for criticism, understand that people aren't always aware of how much they can stomach. If someone asks how they look, they may be expecting you to say, "Great!" or "You'd look better with a different top." They may not want you to say, "Like shit." Use all the info you know about them to determine what sort of criticism they're looking for.

Always ask a person while picking up food from their plate and make sure you use a clean spoon or the hand that you are not eating with.

Try to treat people nicely even if you don't have to.

NOT to speak in your local/regional language if there is third person who does not understand it.

Don't talk about religion and politics. People may differ in opinion.

No means no.

You bring a gift when visiting another's home and never insult the hosts.

A younger person is always introduced to an older person. Even if a younger woman is being introduced to any older man, make sure to say the older person's name first. “<name> I would like you to meet <name>”.

Avoid finishing other people's sentences unless you are close.

In a supermarket put things back where you found them.

If someone hands you their phone to look at a photo, do not — DO NOT — under any circumstance swipe to the right.

Assume all service workers are having a bad day and be nice.

Offer to help someone to do their work, if they struggling to do it themselves all alone.

If you want to blend in, do what everyone else is doing, even if it doesn't make sense.If you want to be remarkable, do what others are not doing, even if it doesn't make sense.

Never give any advice to anyone unless they ask for it.

It is rude to eat your food before the other people at the table get theirs.

If  you're invited to a friend's house party, be generous in helping to clear  up some garbage at the end. Always clean up after yourself too,  obviously.

Never put money into an offering plate at church and take change- putting in a $10 and taking out a $5. This is truly bad form.

It's rude to brag about your finances: salary, bonuses, pensions, investments and so on.

Unless relevant to you as an employer, family member or good friend, avoid asking someone about their academic progress, success or background.

Eye contact is expected in most cultures.